ABOUT THE PROCESS
Each painting is 64” tall, which is within the range of probable heights for an average male in Palestine in the first century; in other words, it is representative of the height of Jesus of Nazareth. Each panel is the same size; and it is my hope that in this work you will sense a sort of unified bodily presence. The exhibit is broken into three parts. Part one serves as a narrative introduction to the reality of suffering, the second part explores the particular suffering of Christ as seen in his Passion, and the third part imagines the result of that Passion. In the second part, each work was created with an underpainting. This underpainting often felt finished to me in a sense in that it had a unique beauty that satisfied me. Then I inflicted upon the work an act that was like or representative of what Jesus might have experienced. For example, the painting dealing with the scourging of Christ was itself scourged with a cat-o’-nine tails whip. In another example, the painting meant to express a shadow of the moment of agony when Christ screamed his question, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” was actually removed from the stretcher bars and torn apart. In the spirit of kintsugi, I have worked some measure of repair on each of the paintings, though not with the intent that they look the same way they did beforehand. Also in harmony with the philosophy of Wabi-sabi and the messiness of the process of suffering, you will find many imperfections in these paintings. Though they have been glued, sewn, woven, and gilded, I didn't make an attempt to hide the wounds, but instead chose to see them as a part of the painting’s history, a reminder of the breaking. I let them keep their scars, and this repetitive act helped to instill in me the idea that it is okay for me to keep my own scars as a reminder of my brokenness and the hands that are healing me. |
The Garden of GethsemaneThe agony of anxiety and depression
The sorrow unto death Acrylic ink, texture medium, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.” Matthew 26:37 “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Mark 14:36 And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. Luke 22:44 Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain Hematidrosis, hemidrosis and hematidrosis, is a condition in which capillary blood vessels that feed the sweat glands rupture, causing them to exude blood, occurring under conditions of extreme physical or emotional stress. |
Jesus is spit upon and beaten with a reedThe agony of disgrace and shame
I gave my back to those who strike Acrylic ink, texture medium, liquid leaf, thread, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE And some began to spit on him and to cover his face and strike him, saying to him, “Prophesy!” -Mark 14:65 I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting. -Isaiah 50:6 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him....Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” And [the LORD] said, “Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you and I will clothe you with pure vestments.” Zechariah, Chapter 3 (excerpts) |
Jesus is crowned with thornsThe agony of injustice and being misunderstood
The Crown of Sin Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, hawthorn branches, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor’s headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion before him. And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” -Matthew 27:27-29 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? -Isaiah 53:8 And for the house of Israel there shall be no more brier to prick or a thorn to hurt them among all their neighbors who have treated them with contempt. -Ezekiel 29:24 The coronation of Christ with thorns was symbolic and had great meaning in it, for, first, it was to Him a triumphal crown. Christ had fought with sin from the day when He first stood foot to foot with it in the wilderness, up to the time when He entered Pilate's Hall—and He had conquered it. As a witness that He had gained the victory, behold sin's crown seized as a trophy! What was the crown of sin? Thorns. These sprang from the curse "Thorns, also, and thistles shall it bring forth to you," was the coronation of sin—and now Christ has taken away its crown and put it on His own head. -C.H. Spurgeon, The Crown of Thorns, sermon #1168 |
Jesus is scourgedThe agony of cruelty and evil
Deep Furrows Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, watercolor, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him. -John 19:1 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. -Isaiah 53:7 Our blessed Redeemer gave his back to the smiters, and the ploughers made deep furrows there. -C.H. Spurgeon, The Crown of Thorns, sermon #1486 |
Jesus bears the crossthe agony of carrying undeserved pain
Too heavy for me Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, and gold foil on canvas; wood 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE So they took Jesus, and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called The Place of a Skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha. -John 19:17 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. -Isaiah 53:4 For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me. Psalm 38:4 See how he fell to lift us from our fall. -C.H. Spurgeon, The Crown of Thorns, Sermon #1168 |
Jesus is crucifiedthe agony of forgiveness and self-sacrifice
By his stripes Acrylic ink, texture medium, nails, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” AVAILABLE And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” -Luke 23:33-34 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and by his stripes we are healed. -Isaiah 53:5 And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and pleas for mercy, so that, when they look on me, on him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn for him, as one mourns for an only child, and weep bitterly over him, as one weeps over a firstborn. -Zechariah 12:10 But that Christ on His cross did rise and fall, Sin had eternally benighted all. Yet dare I almost be glad, I do not see That spectacle of too much weight for me. Who sees Gods face, that is self-life, must die; What a death were it then to see God die? It made His own lieutenant, Nature, shrink, It made His footstool crack, and the sun wink. Could I behold those hands, which span the poles And tune all spheres at once, pierced with those holes? -John Donne, from Good Friday, 1613, Riding Westward |
Jesus is taunted and jeered while hanging on the crossthe agony of loneliness
As one with no friends Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, liquid leaf, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” SOLD And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way. -Matthew 27:39-45 For my enemies speak concerning me; those who watch for my life consult together and say, “God has forsaken him; pursue and seize him, for there is none to deliver him.” -Psalm 71:10-11 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. -Isaiah 53:3 Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow, which was brought upon me, which the LORD inflicted on the day of his fierce anger. -Lamentations 1:12 He has put my brothers far from me, and those who knew me are wholly estranged from me. -Job 19:13 |
Jesus is forsaken by Godthe agony of grief and loss
Like one torn to pieces in the silence of God Acrylic ink, texture medium, liquid leaf, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” SOLD Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Matthew 27:45-46 Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief. -Isaiah 53:10 The fierce anger of the LORD will not turn back until He has performed and until He has accomplished the intent of His heart; In the latter days you will understand this. -Jeremiah 30:24 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Psalm 22:1-2 This may be applied to any child of God, pressed down, overwhelmed with grief and terror. Spiritual desertions are the saints' sorest afflictions; but even their complaint of these burdens is a sign of spiritual life, and spiritual senses exercised…’Why hast thou forsaken me?’ is the language of a heart binding up its happiness in God's favour. -Matthew Henry on Psalm 22:1-10 "Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?" The Man of Sorrows had prayed until his speech failed him, and he could only utter moanings and groanings as men do in severe sicknesses, like the roarings of a wounded animal. To what extremity of grief was our Master driven! What strong crying and tears were those which made him too hoarse for speech! What must have been his anguish to find his own beloved and trusted Father standing afar off, and neither granting help nor apparently hearing prayer. This was good cause to make him "roar." -C.H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of David, Psalm 22 |
Jesus diesthe agony of the mystery of the grave
Sheol, or the innermost center of creation Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, liquid leaf, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” SOLD It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun’s light failed. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last. -Luke 23:44-46 Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? -Psalm 88:10-12 For Sheol does not thank you; death does not praise you; those who go down to the pit do not hope for your faithfulness. -Psalm 38:18 And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. -Isaiah 53:9 “We have a winding-sheet* in our mother's womb which grows with us from conception, and we come into the world wound up in that winding-sheet, for we come to seek a grave.” -John Donne, Death's Duel *winding-sheet: shroud, death sheet |
Jesus rises from the deadthe end of agony
Death, where is your victory? // Behold, the new Tree of Life Acrylic ink, texture medium, thread, liquid leaf, and gold foil on canvas 64”x24”x1.5” SOLD But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. And now, go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead. -Matthew 28:5-7 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26 For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, -Job 19:25-26 But God raised Him from the dead, releasing Him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for Him to be held in its clutches. -Acts 2:24 |