KELLY KRUSE / CONTEMPORARY ILLUMINATION / ARTIST & MUSICIAN
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TO STAND IN TENSION
groaning with God in our feelings

ABOUT THIS PROJECT

To stand in tension is a collection of sixteen mixed-media paintings that were created for Redeemer Fellowship in Midtown Kansas City. In this work I grappled with the reality of emotions, and how we experience them in the midst of our broken and fallen world. Each set of paintings in the series corresponds with a sermon in Redeemer’s 2016  “Feelings” series. These works visually express how the Psalms approach the reality of our emotions as we groan in this world, awaiting the glory of God’s new creation.

There are two panels for each feeling, with one panel representing a raw (and sometimes dark) version of the feeling, and with another representing the way God can move us toward him in that feeling.  It is important to note that it is not my intention to state that one form of the feeling is "bad" and one is "good." We live in a fallen world, so we are all going to feel suffering, sadness, and other "negative" emotions. In fact, Jesus experienced many of these emotions. God is there in the darker aspects of feelings, always moving us toward him. 

Ron Downing wrote a post on the Redeemer Blog about engaging with the work if you're going to be at Redeemer Midtown for any of the Sundays of the show. 

THE EXHIBITION

EXHIBITION

The exhibition of this work concluded at the end of 2017.


ARTIST TALK
February 22, 2017
7:oopm


Redeemer Fellowship
3921 Baltimore Ave  |  KC, MO

SEPTEMBER 25, 2016

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PSALM 13 | HURT

in HURT, God desires to move us toward him in HEALING
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am 
shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall 
rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Will you forget me forever? 
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas
24"x48"x1.5"
Beautiful scars
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas
24"x48"x1.5" panels

OCTOBER 2, 2016

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PSALM 88 | LONELINESS

in LONELINESS, God desires to move us toward him in INTIMACY
O Lord, God of my salvation,
I cry out day and night before you.
Let my prayer come before you;
incline your ear to my cry!

For my soul is full of troubles,
and my life draws near to Sheol.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am a man who has no strength,
like one set loose among the dead,
like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
for they are cut off from your hand.
You have put me in the depths of the pit,
in the 
regions dark and deep.
Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
and you overwhelm me with 
all your waves.

You have caused my companions to shun me;
you have made me a horror to them.
I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
my eye grows dim through sorrow.
Every day I call upon you, O Lord;
I spread out my hands to you.
Do you work wonders for the dead?
Do the departed rise up to praise you?
Is your steadfast love declared in the grave,
or your faithfulness in Abaddon?
Are your 
wonders known in the darkness,
or your righteousness in the land of 
forgetfulness?
​

But I, O Lord, cry to you;
In the morning my prayer comes before you.
O Lord, why do you cast my soul away?
Why do you hide your face from me?
Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer your terrors; I am helpless.
Your wrath has swept over me;
your dreadful assaults destroy me.
They 
surround me like a flood all day long;
they close in on me together.
You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me;
​my companions have become darkness.
My companions have become darkness
​
Acrylic ink and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5"
The  light shines in the darkness
Acrylic ink, acrylic, gold sumi, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5"

OCTOBER 9, 2016

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SADNESS | PSALM 77

in SADNESS, God gives us a space to HONOR what we have lost and to express what we VALUE
I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints.
​

You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
“Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”

Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph.

When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen
You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

​
When I remember God, I moan
​
Acrylic ink and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
My song in the night
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

OCTOBER 16, 2016

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FEAR | PSALM 27

In FEAR, God provides us WISDOM and allows us the opportunity to trust instead of control.
​The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
​

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
When war rises against me
​​
Acrylic ink and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
Let my heart take courage
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

OCTOBER 23, 2016

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ANGER | PSALM 4

Through ANGER, God gifts us PASSION, which allows us to rightly respond to injustice and sin.
Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!

O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? 
But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
the Lord hears when I call to him.

Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the Lord.

There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!”
You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
The fire that brings death
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
The fire that gives life
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

October 30, 2016

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SHAME | PSALM 25

in SHAME, God invites us to move toward him in HUMILITY, abandoning toxic shame
Psalm 25

​To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in you I trust;
let me not be put to shame;
let not my enemies exult over me.
Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;
they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.

Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!

Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

For your name's sake, O Lord,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
Who is the man who fears the Lord?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
His soul shall abide in well-being,
and his offspring shall inherit the land.
The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
for he will pluck my feet out of the net.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.

Consider how many are my foes,
and with what violent hatred they hate me.
Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness preserve me,
for I wait for you.
​

Redeem Israel, O God,
out of all his troubles.

Naked and Ashamed | I am a mistake
​​
Acrylic ink and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
He heals the broken and leads the humble | I am limited
​​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

​NOVEMBER 6, 2016

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GUILT | PSALM 51

GUILT is a gift from God  that moves us toward FORGIVENESS
Psalm 51

Have mercy on me,
 O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness 
​​
Acrylic ink and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
Let the bones that you have broken rejoice
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

NOVEMBER 13, 2016

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GLADNESS | PSALM 16

GLADNESS is experiencing the full JOY of abiding in God instead of seeking counterfeit pleasures and temporary HAPPINESS
Psalm 16

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
​

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Counterfeit joy /  Drunkenness has left me numb to your song
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5
My whole being rejoices, because my name is on your lips
​​
Acrylic ink, acrylic, and gold foil on canvas

24"x48"x1.5

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All artwork, photographs, and text on this site are copyright © Kelly Kruse, 2014-2024. No images, artwork, or content may be used without express permission from the artist. All rights reserved.
  • Home
  • About
    • ARTIST STATEMENT
    • BIO & CV
    • FAQ
    • STUDIO JOURNAL
  • WORK
    • BODIES OF WORK >
      • O MIRABILE MYSTERIUM
      • ICF Commission >
        • Nous
        • Psuche
        • Kardia
        • Pneuma
        • Soma
        • Sarx
      • GEHEIMNIS
      • TRUE AND BETTER
      • BROKEN BONES REJOICE
      • MAGNIFICAT >
        • MAGNIFICAT WORKS
      • My Iron Heart
      • To Stand in Tension >
        • FEELINGS: DEEPER QUESTIONS
      • All flesh is grass >
        • THE PROCESS
    • OTHER PROJECTS >
      • THE SHEMA
      • REDEEMER KINGDOM PAINTING
      • Psalms for Prayer
      • Psalms of Light
      • The Prayer Card Project
      • WHY WE CREATE
    • PARTNERSHIPS >
      • words of life
    • LICENSING/PRINT & COLLABORATIVE PROJECTS >
      • And He Shall Reign
      • The Beauty of Weakness
      • True & Better
    • Commissions
  • Contact
    • Email me
    • Newsletter
  • Shop
    • The 2024 Ornament Collection
    • Your Song in the Night Collection
    • From Past Exhibits
    • Books >
      • Geheimnis Book
    • You Work Wonders Collection
    • Spring 2022 Collection
    • My Etsy Shop
    • All unsold small works
  • PATREON
  • YouTube